When people get divorced, lines are drawn. Which side you choose to stand on can have a huge impact on one or both of the divorcees. More likely the one with the deeper emotional investment and commitment to the relationship - even in spite of failure.
This is something I've been pondering ever since a friend hired my ex-husband to shoot her wedding photos.
Logically, I understand why she hired him. He took their family photos before. He is a good photographer. She has no real beef with him.
You say - go for it - don't let the ex win this one. The thing is, I legally cannot. Read my decree and you'll understand. When I explained to my friend the conflict she said she was simply too busy to search out a suitable photographer - it simply is what it is.
To that I say: wedding photographers are a dime a dozen while a true friendship should always be protected above and beyond everything else.
I guess we weren't really friends.
That said, if I were able to attend her wedding, perhaps I should call up her ex-husband and ask him to be my date. He's is smoking hot, a P90X model, sexy as hell and hey - he was always cordial to me in the past.... It's not really my problem he was abusive to her, right?
Or....do we actually have a responsibility to consider the feelings of our close friends and family members in matters such as these? Sure it's "her wedding" and not about me. But - when she hires my ex-husband to photograph the wedding she's invited me to ... it does have a little bit of an impact on me, so my feelings on the matter are valid.